joetheshirt

Because I’m getting old!  I thought that much was pretty obvious.  Sure some years ago when Tiger Woods was first on the golf scene there was a huge swell in the golfing ranks among the young and poor but that seems to have died down quite a bit.  For the longest time my choice of game/sport was and will always be Basketball.  I love the N.B.A., N.C.A.A. and have even watched the occasional W.N.B.A. game.  Of course if you say that last part to anybody I’ll deny it.  Not that I think that women can’t play sports but there have been only two dunks in W.N.B.A. history.  The average N.B.A. game will have at least ten times that much.  Or at least it seems that way.  I, like many of you, was part of the Golf surge that occurred with the coming of the Tiger.  My buddies and I would play thirty man tournaments once a month, play rounds once a week and just hit a few bucket every other day.  This was in conjunction with my regular Basketball schedule.  I would play B-Ball six days a week.  Five times a day.  Jukeing, jiving, trash talking, and just having a good time.  Then one day about eight years ago it happened.  I was playing this kid that must have been ten years my junior.  He was younger, taller, more athletic and wet behind the ears.  While he was definitely giving me a run for my money, I was pretty sure I could beat him by a few points.  I was up by two with him guarding me with my back to the basket at the free throw line.   In my head I had a plan.  Fake left.  Go right.  Cross over dribble (Ala Allen Iverson), spin move with a lay up on the weak side!  A performance of beauty that I had embarrassed more opponents with than I can remember.  And that’s when it happened.  My body informed me that I was no longer capable of faking left, going right, cross over dribbling, doing a spin move and laying up on the weak side.  As I came down from my lay up I felt a distinct CRUNCHING in my lower vertebrae.  Fell down hard on the court and after several inquiries of “Are you all right man?” was assisted off the court to lay down on the side court. I was laid up for almost a week.  By laid up I mean it would take me five minutes to pry my broken self out of bed.  Standing up straight was a challenge.  Going number two in the bathroom was an experience I wish on almost none of you.  What car accidents, bar brawls and eighteen year old girls failed to do was finally achieved by something I really cared about.   Then, as now, I LOVE Basketball.  Watching it, talking about it and especially playing it.  I was actually pretty good at it.  Not Kobeesque but good enough so that I would get chosen sooner than later in a pick up game.  At 5.8 and 150lbs this was not a minor feat.  Yeah, yeah.  Mugsey Bogues.  Spudd Webb.  I never was and never would be as good as those guys.  But I was good enough to get picked.  If you’ve ever been on a school yard or local B-Ball court you know what a feeling that can be.  My mid range shot was respectable. My three point shot was enviable.  My defense was tenacious and often complimented.  My drives…?  While not always successful were always sincere.  I got into a few scuffles when it came to driving the lanes.  I had no problems with throwing my body into the lane and drawing contact and the fouls that accompanied them.  Threats of physical violence were common and I was proud of them. Those days are over.  With a little luck I can play three games a week.  A far cry from my five games a day, six days a week.  In case you were wondering I am now in my late 30’s.  My body hurts in ways I can’t explain.  I can no longer have caffeine after 8:P.M.  I’ll tell you why some other time.  I take a regiment of vitamins every day.  For my brain.  For my heart.  For my liver.  For my kidneys.  For my skin.  For my cholesterol.  For my over all health.  Fiber.  Let us not forget the fiber.  One to three times a day depending on how I’ve been abusing myself.   So now I play golf.  I know guys in their 80’s that play golf.  Actually the fact that I know guys in their 80’s kind of depresses me.  Yeah.  Sure.  With a little luck and anti-depressants I may live to become one of these guys.  Espousing to someone less than half my age about the virtues and health benefits of Golf.  I like Golf.  I really do.  Exercise.  Fresh air.  (Or as fresh as you get it in L.A.)  L.A. is the only town I know of that has two kinds of air.  Regular and chunky style.  Friends that you can make bets with.  A beer or two after every few holes.   My only request of you.  As the reader of this blog:  Do not pity me.  Some day you will be me.  Just as I used to be you.

 Thank you. JoeTheShirt. 

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